Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Moving Sucks: Part Deux

As I recently asserted: moving sucks.

And not just for me. For my kids, too.

Especially for a certain almost-five-year-old, who for the second time in nine months is leaving her friends and moving to a strange place.
Rocking her cares away in the hammock. March 2011.
This almost-five-year-old barely remembers her best friends from Brooklyn. Guilt overwhelms me when I think that in another nine months she won’t remember her friends in Birmingham.

This almost-five-year-old has become accustomed to a mommy who doesn’t have a day job, a mommy who can ferry her to and from Pre-K, dance class, swim lessons, and play dates.
She had anxiety about bubble blowing. Just imagine how she feels about moving. AGAIN.
October 2010.
This almost-five-year-old won’t get to graduate with her class. She won’t get to dance in her recital. And she won’t get to run to Mommy whenever she has a boo-boo.

Mommy is going to be at work.

I know. You’re thinking: “Get over it. She’s four!”

And you’re right.  She is four, and we will both get over it.

But for today – for right this minute – this is painful.

I took her on a long-awaited date today, going to her favorite restaurant for her favorite strawberry shortcake. When we got there she crawled into my lap like a toddler, buried her face in my chest and refused dessert. 

I ask you: what happy almost-five-year-old refuses dessert?
It ain't fine dining, but it ain't bad either. And they serve Leffe.
What happy almost-five-year-old flips out that Bitty Baby needs changing but all her clothes are in Atlanta? That someone might think this almost-five-year-old is a neglectful mommy?
Get your Bitty Baby - and, hopefully, plenty of wardrobe changes - at American Girl.
What happy almost-five-year-old breaks down like a drunk teenaged girl?
Weepy Hysterical Drunk, courtesy of "Glee" and "Santana Lopez."
Since we moved to Birmingham, this almost-five-year-old has continually pled, “I want to go home.”

Now there’s a home to go to – not a temporary home, not just a place to hang our hats, but a place to live, grow, make memories and finally give Bitty Baby a clean outfit. 

It's going to get better. 



Katherine @ Grass Stains said...

Are you moving away from Birmingham altogether? I thought you moved here to be close to family ... but it's none of my beeswax, of course! :)

I wish you all the best ... I understand that it's a big deal at 4, to move again and make all-new friends. I get why you're not discounting her feelings just because she's "only 4." Her feelings are still valid and real!

Kate said...

Katherine, yes, I am - very sadly - leaving Birmingham. We did move to be closer to family, but three hours away is a lot better than a two-day drive to NY! I looked for jobs in B'ham and Atlanta; ATL just came through first. (And we have more family in Atlanta... just not grandparents. Plus, now we're three hours closer to my family in NC.)

tommiecas said...

Oh, Kate... my heart breaks for you (even though I am not a parent... I know...but I was kinda one... for three years... a long time ago... I swear) ... and this blog entry broke my heart. You know (hell, we all know), you're doing the right thing. In twenty years, when she has her Masters, and you asked why, she'll say "Duh, Mom... you had it all... work and family... why can't I? [God, Mom... you're so sappy... stop, in front of my friends]" and all of these tears will be worth it. Yes... even the strawberry shortcake tears.

But that's a thousand years away... hang in, in the meantime, beautiful!!!!



Courtney Simon said...

My little girls, now 33 and 36, are quick to tell me that they still remember the EXACT MOMENT we told them we were moving and they'd have to change schools. Where they were sitting. The fact that they were both drinking Welch's white grape juice and almost choked on it. And yet, here they are, chuckling now as they tell the tale. So yes, it's a big deal. And yes, they will adjust and grow a whole lush crop of new memories they can't even contemplate yet. But those initial steps are not without stumbles. Great to know that you have everything it takes to right yourself. xoxo

Rachel said...

Mommy-Guilt is killer. And it's unrelenting, too - no matter what we do as Mommies, there's always something to feel guilty about. But she will be fine - four year olds are a lot more flexible than adults!! But I totally get your pain.