Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Closet Case

It's not that there isn't a Costco in Brooklyn; there is: a huge two-story building filled with all the whiz-bang deals normally offered at your garden-variety suburban big box retailer.

No, the problem is where to store the 12 rolls of paper towels, 36 rolls of toilet tissue, 6-pack of pasta boxes and 24 sandwich thins that you'll inevitably buy there.

This should last us a few days.
We lived in a lovely 100-year old home, the second story of which had been converted into our apartment. Apparently, in the early 20th century, people didn’t have much need for storage, because my three-bedroom apartment came with a total of two tiny spaces that the realtor referred to as “closets.”

These closets were not much bigger than the mouse holes in the wall.
"You call this a closet?!"
Realizing the apartment’s deficiency, our landlords kindly provided us with two wardrobes: one in the living area and another in the master bedroom. This still left us with very little room to hang clothes, stack towels, and stash a vacuum cleaner.

We had not one cubic inch of extra space.

I do not mean this figuratively.
Make your own cubic inch here.
So, as friends and relatives – all living outside of New York – bragged to us about their Costco memberships, we briefly thought, “Hey! This might be worth renting a Zipcar for three hours to drive to Costco where we can purchase a year’s worth of paper products.”

Until we realized that spending $40 on a Zipcar would not really be cost-effective and that we would then have to give away all paper products as we didn’t have room for more than four rolls of t.p. at one time.

With this in mind, please now imagine my delight at seeing my new walk-in pantry.
Yes, walk-in. As in, “I can walk IN my pantry and do jumping jacks.”

Not that I will do this, just that I could if I so desired.
One night I might make a pallet and sleep in here.
Just because I CAN.
And look at this: all 12 rolls of paper towels in one spot.
The downside, however, would be the $500 Costco bill.
I'm now an executive.
Sounds fancy, doesn't it?

That’s an even tighter squeeze than my Brooklyn closets.

No comments: